Sensei said, "You ability to sense my presence is considerably more exact than nearly all aikidoka. I have one more test, which is not even a modification of one we do on our students. I have invented it as a result of what you said on the phone about being able to identify who is standing behind you. Can we get you to face the wall with your eyes shut, while we will take turns approaching you from behind. Once you detect us can you call out our names? Is that a fair and acceptable test?"I answered, "It's fair. Do you mind if I walk around the room, past everyone first to make sure I know what everyone feels like? I haven't thought about this before, but I probably need to make sure I know what everyone feels like when they're close enough to me, similar to recognizing faces." As you wish."I started doing that, walking up to each person to make sure I could recognize their ki's 'image' in my proximity sense. I quickly found out that I already knew what each person I visited 'looked'. I never owned a pair of pants or shorts while I lived at home, only plain cotton dresses that came down to my calves."My parents preached against the sins of sex and any contact with boys or men, except to have children. I was told that my body was never to be seen by anyone and my parents even prevented me from taking physical education. I was twelve when I had my first period and when I told my mother, she handed me a box of pads and told me to figure out how to use them."Sarah's eyes began to tear as she went on, stopping only to take a drink of her coffee."By the time I was fifteen, I was so confused that I could hardly stand it. I heard the girls at school talking about the things they did with their boyfriends. Almost everything they referred to was foreign to me, except for kissing. On top of it all, I was having feelings, feelings I couldn't explain. I tried to talk to my mom, but she just made me pray to have the impure thoughts erased from my mind."Between the talk at.
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